"No regrets man." Simple as it might be, this is one of the best pieces of advice given to me recently.
I'll admit it; despite writing a 5-part blog series about why I want to change career, I've been having doubts.
Did I only quit lessons with my drum teacher back in 2015 because it was October, dark and cold, and I was miserable? Was that a bad time to make such a decision?
Should I have tried harder to make my life work up North?
If I had a creative musical project feeding my artistic needs, would I take function gigs lighter and so enjoy them more?
Do I really need a job where I have more social interaction, or do I just need to take steps to improve my social life outside of work?
And am I really that altruistic? Do I actually care about making a difference, or is focussing on the needs of others just a convenient way out of obsessing over my own life?
Who knows. I don't necessarily believe that I have made all the right decisions, and that this is where I'm "supposed to be."
Perhaps if I'd gone about things differently things could have worked up North, and I might be continuing to enjoy the sublimity of the Yorkshire Dales.
Perhaps if I'd powered through and continued lessons with my teacher I'd be hitting a really great level of playing now, and enjoying the drums more than ever.
Perhaps if I'd never even thought about moving up North and carried on as I was doing in London, I might have an exciting session gig and be loving it.
But balls to all that.
As the Robbie Williams song goes - "No Regrets, They Don't Work."
And it's true. They don't work. Utterly pointless.
I am where I am, forget the past. The best thing I can do now is follow through with the plan.
I believe in the theories outlined in my blogs on changing career. But, though I am making strides in the right direction, they are, for now, still just theories. I need to put them in to practise with conviction and commitment.
They may well turn out to be a load of rubbish, but I have to find out.